Is any of this normal?

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I sometimes pick out what gown I’d wear if I had a wedding redo. I LOVED my gown, but I wouldn’t mind another one, just to do something different -- like a ball gown, since I didn't wear one for my wedding, I think Meghan Markle owes us a wedding gown redo, but that’s just my opinion. 

I get nostalgic over things that never happened. Like, for example — when I hear a certain few songs, I relive a daydream I made up when laying around my bedroom as a teenager: I would get a note to meet my crush of the month at the pool house and he would be there with flowers and a romantic poolside slow dance, proclaiming his affection. I created this “memory” down to the outfit I was wearing and how my hair would look. So, now — whenever I hear these songs, I’m all, awww...I remember when...wait, no that didn’t really happen.

I still love the occasional Red Bull, even though I know they're basically like drinking nail polish remover.

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Whenever a stranger coughs anywhere near me in public, I get soooooo annoyed. Cover your mouth with your sleeve and get out, you threat to public health. 

For the first time in my life, I’m kind of dreading my birthday this year. 37. I don’t know why this year feels different, but it does. 37 isn’t a milestone or anything. It might be because it was just a year ago when I thought I was 34 or 35 when someone asked. I think I didn't count the time I was pregnant as aging time. It really shouldn't count, ya know? I digress...

I get irrationally upset when in public, and I see someone not following the basic rules of being a human. Like, leaving their empty coffee cup on a store shelf, not returning carts, etc. Like, I have to mentally check myself because confronting people on such things can be dangerous if they're...well, dangerous, and I'm a mom now. But, that stuff legitimately gets my blood boiling. If you ask me (which you didn't), I think leaving your empty coffee cup on a store shelf is the abnormal thing.

I've forgotten how to leave a 'good' voicemail. I rarely leave voicemail messages, so when I have to, I wind up pressing 3 to re-record until I feel like the person who will listen to it won't think I'm going to a pain the ass to return a call to. It's either too long, I'm talking too fast, I forgot to say something important, etc. I'm like the Goldilocks of voicemail.

I have a blister on my palm from Owen's stroller. I feel like a laborer.

Parenting is labor, though -- isn't it? Like, when do moms stop being in labor?

Quickie: Babies in bars?

 via mommyish.com

via mommyish.com

I came across a friend tweeting about people who bring their baby to a bar. It brought up a topic I've gotten pretty passionate about over the years, and my stance has changed only somewhat since I've become a mom.

I believe there are kid-friendly places, kid-acceptable places...and then there are some places where kids should not be allowed. Bars are one of them, I think -- but only at night. I don't see anything wrong with a tot hangin' out with mom and dad during brunch/lunch/a festival/whatever.

But, at night, it just feels like a different crowd. Because, people go to bars to let loose, have fun and be a little careless -- perhaps even leaving their responsibilities out of mind for a bit. When there's a baby strapped to a beer-drinking mom or dad, it's hard to forget about your own kids back at home/with the sitter.

Buzzkill.

OR -- maybe it makes some people drink more when they see a baby, who knows?! And then maybe they forget their birth control and BAM -- more babies/future customers.

Mm-hmm. These baby bars are onto something, aren't they.

Also - this post on Mommyish.com nails it. While some bars enforce a "last call for babies" -- no babies after 8 p.m. -- bars are just so dirty. Not to mention, people can get pretty rowdy and accidentally throw an elbow now and then.

So, I think if you're absolutely dying for an adult night out for some drinks at a bar but don't have a babysitter...stay home. *shrug* Welcome to parenting!

I have questions (about fashion bloggers)

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When I should be sleeping at night, I'm usually on the 'explore' tab of my Instagram (@vandenvogue), perusing a bunch of style/fashion bloggers. While my daily wardrobe now consists of joggers, jeans (if we're going out), hoodies/cardis and boots or sneakers, I still appreciate a chic style and I'll take any help I can get with applying eyeliner. But, while I'm appreciating these bloggers and their perfectly poised photos, I start to wonder what their days are truly like. Especially the mommy fashion bloggers. Girl. Get it. Don't know how you do it.

It's just...I have questions.

Honestly, it looks super hard. I mean, their hair is constantly coiffed and their makeup is flawless. I'm lucky if I have the energy to put on mascara, let alone a full set of lashes. At the rate they post - usually daily - it's like they have their outfits planned out for the week, down to the #sponsored Daniel Wellington watch or Diff sunglasses they all push on us. AND - those #ads are the only pieces of clothing/accessories I ever see them repeat. I used to be like that. IN HIGH SCHOOL. And no one was paying me to do it. Dammit.

Also - what's up with their poses? My favorite is the toes pointed inward...yeah, their shoes are cute, but I'd bet it's because if you stand like that, the thigh gap gets bigger and the thighs look smaller. Been there, practically invented that, but go on with your bad self.

And they're always outside, in front of some artsy staircase or graffiti'd wall. Where do they find the time to find these places, let alone go stand in front of it and take photos - and who is taking the photos?

Also also, a lot of them are constantly on vacation - Cabo, Italy, Tahiti, etc. - and they're thanking these resorts in the captions like the resorts PAID them to be there. IS THAT THE CASE? I think it is, in some cases.

How do some of the mommy fashion bloggers pop out these kids and go back to being a size 00 like two weeks later? I don't even want to know, so forget I asked. Except, one in particular is always in videos, jumping around sooo much while dance-exercising and I wonder if she ever accidentally pees herself a little.

 Le sigh.

Le sigh.

Personally, I've seen enough photos of cappuccinos next to peonies next to Chanel bags, with or without the 'casually' placed hand adorned with Cartier bracelets and midi rings to last me a lifetime. Ahhh...the leisurely coffee break. I'm just over here, sitting in the driveway with my Dunkin' because my toddler fell asleep in the car and I'm digging the tunes and quiet time. Sigh. But I'll "heart" the photo anyway.

I just realized it might sound like I'm jealous. Yeah, I am - if only just a little. But, I really think it's a lot of pressure for them to keep their feed current and maintain/grow their following. I wouldn't want that kind of pressure.

But I definitely wouldn't mind their shoe and bag collection.