My husband brought in the pizza box, and set it on the counter. I opened it, and felt that familiar feeling that I've felt since as far back as I can remember - a feeling of sheer panic...and gluttony.
My subconscious said, "I want all the pizza."
But, while it may be possible I could house a whole pizza, I know that isn't rational, since we ordered the pizza to share, and we rarely eat all of it. Still - I feel excitement bubble in my belly. It's not overwhelming, but it's noticeable.
And, it only happens with pizza. No, wait. That's not true. It sort of happens with French fries, also. Sigh. I always have this horrible urge to sneak-eat a few of the other person's fries right out of the bag, and then eat my own, too. What do you think that says about me? What do you think it says about me that 9 times out of 10 I act upon it? I'm sorry, honey. And mom.
Anyway, I have thought about why I feel this way about pizza - and I mean really thought about it. Like, I sat in complete silence and mentally traveled back in time to what could have happened to produce this pizza panic - and I found the only memory that makes any sense.
It was this chick Kate's birthday party at a roller-skating rink in 6th grade, and pizza was the lunch or dinner or whatever. The rink employees brought out these two big pizzas, and set them on the table - with one of the pizzas, adorned with birthday candles, going right in front of the birthday girl. We sang, she blew out her candles and we clapped - and then she threw the biggest little b**** tantrum about how she didn't "even like pizzaaaaaa!!!!" Her parents freaked, and then the employees took the entire pizza away - and brought her two hot dogs. And, the rest of us guests, for whatever reason, had to just share one pizza...leaving us with being able to only have one slice, instead of two. I was hungry. WTF, Kate?
So, I guess maybe that experience resonated with me, and subconsciously resurfaces when I have a whole pizza in front of me - leading me to want to grab what I can before it goes away. It's hilarious, really.
But seriously - I will never trust people who don't like pizza. I mean, I like hot dogs too - but it's pretty close to being a law that pizza > hot dogs. Every.single.time.
Now that I think about it - what did happen to the pizza they took away? I bet Kate's parents took it home and binged on it after their brat went to bed.
It is quite the comfort food, after all.