What were they thinking?

When you have a napping infant, what will wake them up is always a gamble. One nap, you can run the vacuum and the next, closing the microwave can alter the course of your entire day. If you have creaky floors/stairs? Godspeed.

So, I find myself wondering why certain things exist - and if the person who invented them ever had babies. Like...

...those ceramic built-in soap dishes. Those rounded, smooth 'ridges' meant to hold the soap in the dish are a J-O-K-E. It's like whoever invented this genius idea forget that showers/baths get wet, you know - from WATER. And so, anything less than a spike will not hold that slippery bar of soap from dropping loudly onto the shower floor. Multiple times, if you're a mama just trying to hurry up and hopefully squeeze in drying your hair before the nap comes to an end.

Ordering online is super convenient, until the mail person loudly drops the package and then rings the doorbell several times. What's the point in that? They just get back in their mail truck and drive away, anyway. If they hadn't rung that doorbell, I could have retrieved the package, but now that someone's up? I'll probably forget in 15 minutes.

How many times does the dishwasher need to beep beep beep to let me know it's done? It goes on and off until you physically open the door. Very bossy. Do you think a man or a woman came up with that idea?

TV commercials are always louder than whatever else you're watching/have on for background noise, but some commercials are just downright obnoxious. Like, the commercials with DJ Khaled's seizure-inducing beats in the background, or that Sour Patch Kids commercial where the teenager comes home late and the Sour Patch Kids blow the airhorn. WORST.EVER.

Anything that comes in a crinkly plastic bag is OFF-LIMITS. I don't care how much you want chips with your sandwich. We just cannot take that chance. Buy Pringles next time.

Let's see what else...oh, no...here comes a sneeze, ARE YOU KIDD--

...well, gotta go.