I think I ghosted before ghosting was a thing. And, a lot. I’m not particularly proud of it, in some cases, but it happens. Like I said, some of it I feel bad about, some I don’t — and some, I’m sure, was mutual.
I read this post on Scary Mommy about ghosting a negative friend. Honestly, I can’t believe someone like that exists in real life, but anyway…it got me thinking about why I felt so comfortable ghosting people in my past. It’s not that I think people are disposable — I just think some people aren’t shaped to fit into the life puzzle we’re all putting together.
And, how do you explain that to someone? “Hi. Yeah, so…let’s just not be in each other’s lives anymore, ‘kay? Bye forever!”
Reasons for ghosting someone are plentiful. It could be because of an awkward situation in which you’ve both disagreed about something to a point where you now look at each other differently, or maybe you just met and don’t vibe together. Or, for some reason, it’s become a chore to be around each other — long, awkward pauses, disingenuous head-nodding and ‘yeahhhhh…’ accompanied by nervous laughter. It’s just work, and honestly there’s enough of that with family members and coworkers so why in the world would we choose to have more of it?
So…you just…pull an Irish Goodbye and GTFO. I mean, you wish them well, of course. You just do it silently and from far away where they can’t see you or communicate with you at all.
And, I think the friend who got ghosted in the Scary Mommy post did know why she got ghosted, so I think the writer flatters herself a little too much/is too hard on herself. I can’t decide which.
But, I mean — if you ever hear someone saying “I have no idea why they ghosted me!” — that’s BS. I think most people know why they got ghosted, they’re just mad they didn’t do it first. But, if you’re the recipient of a ghosting situation (I’ve been on that end, too) — you shouldn’t be offended. You should be relieved you’ve been spared an uncomfortable conversation.
Unless you were living with them and/or married to them…then that’s really F’d up and you should hunt them down.