I've always been social, but I've also always had a little bit of social anxiety. I don't know when it started, or why - but whenever a party or event would arise, I'd procrastinate until the very last second I had to get in the shower and get ready...most likely replaying how everything will (should) go at the event, and worrying I might not look okay, fit in, etc. And, more times than I can count - my over-analyzing and anxiety prevented me from actually going to whatever it was - a dinner, a date, a party, a night out, whatever.
Truthfully, I don't even know if that's social anxiety but I don't know what else to call it. I just know that I had to really fight it back, and everything had to fall into place...including every hair on my head...in order for me to feel 100% okay with putting myself out there. "I'm just not feeling it" was often my nonchalant excuse whenever questioned about my absence. How can anyone argue with that?
What some people may not know is, that blogging for the TU really pulled me out of that. I put myself out there - verbally and physically - to a bare-naked degree where there was literally NO GOING BACK. I did some awesome things - and met some amazing people. So, I'm forever thankful for that.
So anyway, now I have a baby and my 'needs' to be out and about are a bit different. It's not just about me. I thought about it, and I like the idea of meeting other moms. In person. So, I wound up searching for what was around my area, and I found a group that works out together. Their mission is basically to feel good and offer support, which is just perfect. The owner/founder and I emailed back and forth when I was still pregnant. And, she nudged me via email the other day to see how I was doing. It was so damn nice, thoughtful - and such perfect timing, so I'm trying my first class this Monday morning.
Now, I just have to tell myself to not worry about what I'm wearing, will I fit in, should I go buy some new workout clothes or will that look desperate, will they like me, will I say something silly/stupid/accidentally offensive, will they think I'm a good/bad mom, will Owen have a rare meltdown, will I do the exercises right, will I actually go?
Pssst. I wrote this post so I have to go, or you'll wag your finger at me.