SAHM FWP

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Before I get into what I wanna get into, I have to say acronyms on parenting message boards (AKA "comedy hour" because I can't believe the questions people ask on them, and also that they are breeding) get a little hard to figure out. Like, BLW. That means "baby-led weaning."

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

Anyway, I don't call myself a stay-at-home mom, or SAHM. I actually don't like that term and I think it's because of the stigma around it. Now, I know being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world - but calling myself that makes me feel like I'm trying to actually call it a form of employment or give myself a professional title. I also work from home when I can...which lately has been around 10 pm. So, to me - I'm simply a mother. And yes, I know being a mom is not simple, but you know what I mean.

Being at home everyday has it's isolation. And thus, has led me to realize some FWPs, or first world problems. Like:

Why do people double click their car key fob twice, to make their car horn beep, when they're only parking in their garage or assigned parking space? If you only press it once, you can hear the locks go down. Hitting it twice annoys everyone who lives around you. And, it's a Toyota not a Lamborghini.

If you're a real estate agent, and you're going door-to-door during the day to try and drum up business...please know the only people home during the day are people with babies/children and people who are sick and staying home from work. NEITHER OF THOSE TWO PEOPLE WANT TO BE BOTHERED BY YOU. So, just leave your stupid glossy card on the doormat so I can recycle it. One agent rang my doorbell twice and then knocked because she heard me doing stuff through my open window, and another one slid her card so far into my front door, it fell inside at my feet. Both got told what's up.

Also, the UPS/FedEx man and woman ring our doorbell/knock when they leave a package, which is often because I have baby stuff on an Amazon Prime subscription. Then, Moxie barks and if baby is sleeping, he ain't no more. Even if he doesn't wake up, I still jump and frantically look to see if he will.

Why are microwave doors so loud when you close/open them? It makes warming up my coffee I haven't yet taken a sip of very difficult. So now I call it "the baby waker upper." And I drink room temp coffee. I used to drink iced, but those are called "nap's over! cubes."

It's funny when people think you have time to talk on the phone. Text. Text. Text. And for the love of my me-time, do NOT leave me a voicemail. 95% of the time I don't listen to it. And email? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I check that every third day. Text. 

The absolute worst movie to have on in any background setting (because sometimes the noise helps to feel less alone) is Minority Report. The one chick in that movie screams constantly and it's the worst sound I've ever heard in my life. We stick to HGTV, for the most part.

Sometimes, I don't know what day it is.

Happy Friday!

Sorry. Thursday. Right? Thursday?