So in: Fixer Upper
So out: Property Brothers, House Hunters International.
In the middle: House Hunters (the original), and Property Virgins
Why: OK, so. I've professed by girl crush on Joanna Gaines, who is half of the Fixer Upper team. With her husband, Chip, these two farmers/retail owners and designers are simply amazing with their renovations. They are based in Waco, Texas - and now I want to go. Not only are they uber talented, they have the coolest personalities, ever. And, the people on the show are not annoying! It's incredible how much of a difference that makes. The people on House Hunters International make me scream. It's always people who want to buy a home in, like, Grenada, and then complain that the kitchen is not 'modern.' And, don't even get me started on the Property Brothers. They both just remind me of the type of guy who would take way too long getting ready for dinner, and make you late for your reservations, and then he'd treat the waiter like crap.
So in: Anything else
So out: Avocado Toast
In the middle: Anything, anything else.
Why: I'm a texture person, so seeing mushy avocado on a slice of toast that may be soggy and caving in towards the middle...makes.me.gag.SO.much. Not to mention, I see avocado toast everrrrrywhere. "New avocado toast recipes that will blow your mind!" "Eat this for breakfast, and be awesome!" "Look what I had for breakfast this morning, aren't I hip?" This cannot be a new thing, can it? And, I like avocados - I love them sliced up on a salad, or in a sandwich, even. But, not mushed up to the point they look like vomit. I'm sorry. But it does look like vomit. Guacamole is different. And, I have to be in the mood for that. Usually, after like, three margaritas - which these days, is NOT happening. So, blech.
So in: Barre
So out: Dance videos
In the middle: Pilates, Yoga, etc.
Why: I mean, I think everyone chooses what form of exercises works for them. but, who doesn't want a ballerina body? Barre focuses on the kinds of movements that lead to long, lean muscle. Like Pilates, just more intense. I took my first Barre class, and within 10 minutes, I couldn't believe how little I was actually moving, but how much I was sweating. I once purchased a Julianne Hough dance/exercise video. And, I was so excited because I mean...her body is ridiculous. I admit I felt a little bit like my mom was passing me her Sweatin' to the Oldies torch. But, I still thought JH deserved a fair shot. But, I just couldn't get over the corny moves and her annoying voice. Sorry, Jules. Oh - and if you're a runner, you're simply amazing. Because, I never was, and I fear I never will be...a runner. However, I guess 'never say never' and stuff.
So in: Long bobs
So out: Severely inverted bobs
In the middle: Everything else, I guess.
Why: I used to have that short, super-inverted bob, a la Katie Holmes. And, when I moved to California, I realized...no one had hair like that, here. Probably because it looks super silly at the beach, blowing around all wet and weirdly drying without being styled. So, I began the painfully awkward process of growing it out and now it's past my shoulders, where I like it. I thought I'd grow beach babe long locks again, but I have way too much hair for that. Just enough that I can put in a bun is fine with me. Long bobs still look styled, polished and yet carefree. Voila!
So in: Overalls
So out: Butt-baring rompers
In the middle, but more like a close second: Jumpsuits
Why: I'm not talking about thick denim overalls that everyone had to have from Old Navy and the Gap back in the 90s. I'm talking about tailored, stylish overalls that have a more cute, feminine touch. And, jumpsuits are adorable, too. How easy is it to pick ONE thing to wear, instead of figuring out what top goes with what bottoms? And, the right romper is cute, too - as long as it's not too small/short/tight and creeping up your butt to show your cheekies.
Those are called bathing suit cover-ups, darling.