Settled

“How are you getting settled” is the question everyone has asked me — friends in NY, our neighbour next door, the baristas at the coffee shop, the optometrist putting drops in my eyes, and the mums at my son’s school. I answer the same way every time: “Great! We love it here so far.” It’s true, even if their reply is usually, “just wait for the winter and see how you feel then!”

But, I’m from Upstate New York. I got this.

I got to thinking about what it really means to feel settled — and being happy-settled. To me, it means being comfortable, feeling familiar with the neighbourhood and how to find what — and who — you need, easily. I think it means being able to relax and sip some tea or coffee, watch a show/movie and not feel like you have to unpack anything. I think it means being able to walk, and smile to yourself for whatever reason — whether it was a conversation you just had, a memory from last week or the excitement of planning something in the near future.

I think being settled means being able to exhale.

The last couple months have been the opposite of settled, to be honest. My brain has been filled with a hundred little tasks that I had to prioritize daily, weekly — until it got to the point I had to write them down in order to truly tackle them and feel like I was making a dent instead of spinning my wheels. There was a point, I was actually beginning to wonder if I was losing my mind. I had to sit down, remember to exhale, and remind myself that not everything needed to be completed that day…even if I still wanted it to be. I am the person who has to unpack the second we get into the hotel room, and the second we get back home. I guess I just like being settled a little too much.

While grabbing a chai latte (with an extra shot and oat milk, fyi), I got to talking with a new friend, and I can’t remember how it came up, but she said, “Well, with moving to a new country, getting moved in and acquainted…that’s a lot.”

It was the first time someone else had said it to me like that.

IT IS A LOT. It’s not a lot for me — it’s a lot for ANYONE.

“It is a lot!” I slammed my hand down on the table (lightly, because it’s London), and added, “thank you!”

The validation was strong. The permission to be a little nuts, a little messy, a little discombobulated, a little frazzled — and to take the time to RELAX and ENJOY this time was exactly what I needed.

I left the coffee shop smiling. I walked all the way home…smiling. I plopped down on the sofa, turned on Netflix and finally watched Nobody Wants This.

So yes, I am settling just fine now.

And I can’t wait for season 2, omg.