Quickie: Babies in bars?

 via mommyish.com

via mommyish.com

I came across a friend tweeting about people who bring their baby to a bar. It brought up a topic I've gotten pretty passionate about over the years, and my stance has changed only somewhat since I've become a mom.

I believe there are kid-friendly places, kid-acceptable places...and then there are some places where kids should not be allowed. Bars are one of them, I think -- but only at night. I don't see anything wrong with a tot hangin' out with mom and dad during brunch/lunch/a festival/whatever.

But, at night, it just feels like a different crowd. Because, people go to bars to let loose, have fun and be a little careless -- perhaps even leaving their responsibilities out of mind for a bit. When there's a baby strapped to a beer-drinking mom or dad, it's hard to forget about your own kids back at home/with the sitter.

Buzzkill.

OR -- maybe it makes some people drink more when they see a baby, who knows?! And then maybe they forget their birth control and BAM -- more babies/future customers.

Mm-hmm. These baby bars are onto something, aren't they.

Also - this post on Mommyish.com nails it. While some bars enforce a "last call for babies" -- no babies after 8 p.m. -- bars are just so dirty. Not to mention, people can get pretty rowdy and accidentally throw an elbow now and then.

So, I think if you're absolutely dying for an adult night out for some drinks at a bar but don't have a babysitter...stay home. *shrug* Welcome to parenting!

Peanut butter in public?!

 image via cafemom

image via cafemom

Whenever I make a Target run, I always pack a lunch or snack for my busy 20-month-old, because it makes shopping less hectic when he's content sitting in a cart. Sometimes, his lunch includes a PB sandwich, folded in half.

I'm not a germophobe, but I do bring my own disinfectant wipes to wipe down the shopping cart before and after returning it to the cart corral. Because...people are gross. People wipe their noses with their hands, sneeze, cough and so do their kids riding in the cart, including mine. Flu season was awful, so...better safe than sorry. I also realize that by doing this, I'm ensuring that I've removed any grossness and/or peanut butter that lingers on the cart, in case the next user - kid or adult - has an allergy.

A mom was recently shamed and attacked online for giving her daughter a PB sandwich in a Target cart. Apparently, a stranger approached her in the store and when the mom took to the Internet for opinion...the flood gates opened. This mom was called "disgusting", "inconsiderate" and - my personal favorite - "a hillbilly." Here's the thread on Urban Baby. That hillbilly comment came from someone who says she would prefer to feed her child in the car rather than a shopping cart, by the way. Perhaps she also thinks breastfeeding should be done in the bathroom, I don't know.

Anyway, my personal opinion on this is simple - if your child has allergies, and you’re worried about shopping carts, please bring disinfectant wipes and take it upon yourself to make sure the cart is clear for your child. Why are you relying on strangers? Not everyone is going to do what you want in life, and I've seen lots of parents return the carts without cleaning them, so why do you trust that stranger before you didn't have/eat peanut butter? I don't mean to sound harsh, but I do think it just takes some common sense. Yes, I realize allergies can be deadly. So can the flu, especially to children. WIPE DOWN THE CART. So many stores offer wipes at their entrance for this reason.

Now, let's talk about mom-shaming. Stop it. Why do we do this?! This mom was asking for opinions on the topic - not what you think of her as a person or a mother. Honestly. I admit - I've been rather judgy of some moms before I became a mother myself, but once I did - MY GOD. Talk about humility. I repent my past mom-shaming sins, nod my head and high-five you for however you get through the day, mommas. So, I just don’t get the hate and shame. 

No, I don't know what it's like to have a child who has a peanut allergy. And, after hearing about this mom, I wonder what my "reaction" would be if a stranger approached me and my child in a store.

Maybe one day I'll find out.

I have questions (about fashion bloggers)

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When I should be sleeping at night, I'm usually on the 'explore' tab of my Instagram (@vandenvogue), perusing a bunch of style/fashion bloggers. While my daily wardrobe now consists of joggers, jeans (if we're going out), hoodies/cardis and boots or sneakers, I still appreciate a chic style and I'll take any help I can get with applying eyeliner. But, while I'm appreciating these bloggers and their perfectly poised photos, I start to wonder what their days are truly like. Especially the mommy fashion bloggers. Girl. Get it. Don't know how you do it.

It's just...I have questions.

Honestly, it looks super hard. I mean, their hair is constantly coiffed and their makeup is flawless. I'm lucky if I have the energy to put on mascara, let alone a full set of lashes. At the rate they post - usually daily - it's like they have their outfits planned out for the week, down to the #sponsored Daniel Wellington watch or Diff sunglasses they all push on us. AND - those #ads are the only pieces of clothing/accessories I ever see them repeat. I used to be like that. IN HIGH SCHOOL. And no one was paying me to do it. Dammit.

Also - what's up with their poses? My favorite is the toes pointed inward...yeah, their shoes are cute, but I'd bet it's because if you stand like that, the thigh gap gets bigger and the thighs look smaller. Been there, practically invented that, but go on with your bad self.

And they're always outside, in front of some artsy staircase or graffiti'd wall. Where do they find the time to find these places, let alone go stand in front of it and take photos - and who is taking the photos?

Also also, a lot of them are constantly on vacation - Cabo, Italy, Tahiti, etc. - and they're thanking these resorts in the captions like the resorts PAID them to be there. IS THAT THE CASE? I think it is, in some cases.

How do some of the mommy fashion bloggers pop out these kids and go back to being a size 00 like two weeks later? I don't even want to know, so forget I asked. Except, one in particular is always in videos, jumping around sooo much while dance-exercising and I wonder if she ever accidentally pees herself a little.

 Le sigh.

Le sigh.

Personally, I've seen enough photos of cappuccinos next to peonies next to Chanel bags, with or without the 'casually' placed hand adorned with Cartier bracelets and midi rings to last me a lifetime. Ahhh...the leisurely coffee break. I'm just over here, sitting in the driveway with my Dunkin' because my toddler fell asleep in the car and I'm digging the tunes and quiet time. Sigh. But I'll "heart" the photo anyway.

I just realized it might sound like I'm jealous. Yeah, I am - if only just a little. But, I really think it's a lot of pressure for them to keep their feed current and maintain/grow their following. I wouldn't want that kind of pressure.

But I definitely wouldn't mind their shoe and bag collection.