I have questions (about fashion bloggers)

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When I should be sleeping at night, I'm usually on the 'explore' tab of my Instagram (@vandenvogue), perusing a bunch of style/fashion bloggers. While my daily wardrobe now consists of joggers, jeans (if we're going out), hoodies/cardis and boots or sneakers, I still appreciate a chic style and I'll take any help I can get with applying eyeliner. But, while I'm appreciating these bloggers and their perfectly poised photos, I start to wonder what their days are truly like. Especially the mommy fashion bloggers. Girl. Get it. Don't know how you do it.

It's just...I have questions.

Honestly, it looks super hard. I mean, their hair is constantly coiffed and their makeup is flawless. I'm lucky if I have the energy to put on mascara, let alone a full set of lashes. At the rate they post - usually daily - it's like they have their outfits planned out for the week, down to the #sponsored Daniel Wellington watch or Diff sunglasses they all push on us. AND - those #ads are the only pieces of clothing/accessories I ever see them repeat. I used to be like that. IN HIGH SCHOOL. And no one was paying me to do it. Dammit.

Also - what's up with their poses? My favorite is the toes pointed inward...yeah, their shoes are cute, but I'd bet it's because if you stand like that, the thigh gap gets bigger and the thighs look smaller. Been there, practically invented that, but go on with your bad self.

And they're always outside, in front of some artsy staircase or graffiti'd wall. Where do they find the time to find these places, let alone go stand in front of it and take photos - and who is taking the photos?

Also also, a lot of them are constantly on vacation - Cabo, Italy, Tahiti, etc. - and they're thanking these resorts in the captions like the resorts PAID them to be there. IS THAT THE CASE? I think it is, in some cases.

How do some of the mommy fashion bloggers pop out these kids and go back to being a size 00 like two weeks later? I don't even want to know, so forget I asked. Except, one in particular is always in videos, jumping around sooo much while dance-exercising and I wonder if she ever accidentally pees herself a little.

 Le sigh.

Le sigh.

Personally, I've seen enough photos of cappuccinos next to peonies next to Chanel bags, with or without the 'casually' placed hand adorned with Cartier bracelets and midi rings to last me a lifetime. Ahhh...the leisurely coffee break. I'm just over here, sitting in the driveway with my Dunkin' because my toddler fell asleep in the car and I'm digging the tunes and quiet time. Sigh. But I'll "heart" the photo anyway.

I just realized it might sound like I'm jealous. Yeah, I am - if only just a little. But, I really think it's a lot of pressure for them to keep their feed current and maintain/grow their following. I wouldn't want that kind of pressure.

But I definitely wouldn't mind their shoe and bag collection.

Um, hi...

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...remember me? I've been MIA, due to just livin' - but now I'm back. Here's what we missed talking about:

I got my Ancestry DNA results back. Pretty cool. I'm 38% British, 25% Irish and the rest is Eastern European - Polish and Austrian, as well as Western European and Scandinavian. So, those Swedish meatballs weren't a lie after all! Phew. They also connected me with relatives I knew of, solely based on DNA. There's so much to discover on the site, and honestly, it's a bit overwhelming and time-consuming, but I'm having fun with it!

Facebook seems lame, now - doesn't it? Or, maybe it's just me. I've actually debated deactivating my FB account, because I really don't think I would miss it. I still might. I prefer the more fast-paced Twitter and more visually fun Instagram.

Have you ever had a Dirty Chai from Starbucks? Apparently, it's a 'secret drink' and it's amazing. I've been drinking them for years, now - and had no problem ordering it as a Dirty Chai in California. But, here in NJ - I've had to explain it a couple times. It's a Chai Tea Latte with a shot (or two, if you want an 'extra dirty chai latte') of espresso. I get mine iced. It's divine and I highly recommend it.

Vanderpump Rules is off the hook lately. Do you watch it? I can't stand Scheana. If you watch it, let's talk about it because I have a lot to say about my shameless guilty pleasure.

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I've found the best massage therapist and I can't believe how much tension I had/have in my shoulders and neck. I swear, the first time I went, I felt like a new person afterwards. I used to think massages were a luxury and something that was elective and just nice - but now, especially after having a baby - I understand that they're truly therapy and literally every single body could benefit from it. My appointments aren't the type where I could fall asleep - because it kind of hurts - but it hurts so good.

I can't stand the hair around my face...in my face. So, I often use bobby pins. I don't really do anything special other than just pin up the heavier side, but I've been seeing really cute ideas all around Pinterest, so I'm thinking about branching out and putting a little more thought into it. I've also been doing the front hair in a pony on top, too.

Do you think there are any better Disney movies than Moana? I don't. I need there to be a sequel. The music alone is fantastic, but the story is stunningly beautiful.

People who Google everything and then talk to you like they've studied whatever they just Googled for years and now have a certification in are super annoying. It's so silly, because it seems most of what the Googlers cite is based on opinion, not fact - and anyone could easily find opposing 'evidence'  to whatever it is they're experts on now. What makes it more hilarious, is when they're all, "I found an article that says..." and it turns out to be a blog post. Sigh.

I know my kid is soooo super cute, but I wish strangers wouldn't try to touch him. I've seen some cute as heck children in my days, but I've never once reached out to actually touch them. What are people thinking?! I have to say, though - I give free passes to cute old ladies, since they always just seem to tap him lightly on the hand and they smile sooo much and somehow it means more when they tell me how beautiful he is. Logically, they've probably seen a lot more babies in their lifetime, ya know? Plus, all of the older ladies around here are Italian and always dressed to the nines. But, one lady in her 50s seriously asked me, "Can I pinch his cheek?" UM NO. Would anyone actually say yes to that?!