Can we not do this anymore?

Can we not do this anymore?

Remark on a woman's weight gain/loss? Between the comments about Amy Schumer hosting the MTV Movie Awards and singers Pink and Kelly Clarkson having to defend themselves against comments made about their weight, I'm just over it. Not only is it mean and immature - and in most cases, very "Thanks, Captain Obvious" - but it's boring. Don't we have better things to talk about? Yes, we do. Like...

Man buns. What is it with these disasters? It reminds me of when my hair was too short to put up, but I'd try, and wind up with some little dinky knob that reminded me of Pepper from American Horror Story, which would make me grimace and have to immediately take it down. If you're a man, and you have long hair, why not just let it fly free? And, if you want it out of your face, just pull it back into a ponytail. Why spend the time putting it into a bun, and oh my God please tell me no guy is using Hot Buns. And, yes - I realize this is very hypocritical of me to talk about after my above paragraph, but I'm not perfect. And I hate man buns.

 

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My new project!

Whoops. I totally forgot I had this blog for a minute.

Or 4 months. Whichever. Hey - life, ya know? I have no excuses, so let's move on. Lemme tell you about my next little side project because I'm so excited and I better tell you now before I take a break from that, too.

Even Moxie used it to update her FB status

Even Moxie used it to update her FB status

I am not a crafty person. I can barely draw a good stick figure, and usually it takes me two or three tries to be satisfied with it. Using scissors, I cannot cut in a straight line to save my life since I am a lefty but ironically cannot use left-handed scissors. I'd LOVE to do one of those 'paint and sip' events that everyone seems to have SO much fun at, and produce really cute paintings - but I would be soooo stressed out about my lack of skills the entire time because there is no way to erase paint from a canvas and start over (is there?). So, it's so weird that most recently, I have a new-found passion for painting furniture.

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I had this little desk that I used to blog blog blog away on back in "the day" - and it was red and ornate and very just...ugly, to me now. Tastes change. And, on my search to find something to fit this one space in our townhome, I came across bookshelves, and planters and other assorted decor - but, nothing really did it for me. So, I decided to just breathe new life into what I already had, and picked a color and went to town on that little desk.

Now, I am obsessed. There is something so rewarding and cathartic to watch something old become something new. I immediately thought, I wanna do it more.

Finished!  

Finished!  

Then, this past weekend, while out to an antique mall in our area, I noticed that it seemed pieces that were repainted and given a new life with a coat of paint had a higher price tag than those that were left in their natural state. Which, didn't really make that much sense to me but OK, I get it. So, I think I'm going to take on a little side project and buy tables, benches, trunks, whatever - and flip them. Because, honestly - I would rather someone buy something I put some time and thought and love into, rather than shell out $200 at Target or IKEA for some particleboard bullsh**. 

So, while this won't be, like, a full-time job or anything, I'm pretty excited to just see where my longtime love of garage sales and new-found love of painting winds up.

I'll see you soon, OK? Not in 4 months, I swear.

Sun where there 'should' be snow

Sun where there 'should' be snow

I'm a Northeast girl - born and raised. So, I am obsessed with all things fall. But, I was actually somewhat OK with a Southern California autumn. After all, it was a new experience. So, I silently dealt with the lack of foliage, nippy air and scarf-clad citizens. Instead, making peace with the warm sunny days, t-shirt weather and palm trees. I forced myself to order a hot pumpkin spice latte - and hated it. Pumpkin coffee does not taste good while sunning by the pool. Just so ya know.

Thanksgiving approached, and it was clear that this 'pesky' sunshine wasn't going away. I realized I certainly wouldn't be gazing out of my living room window at falling snow, or grey cloudy skies this winter. Instead, I found that I'm forced to shuffle down to the beach and take a warm morning walk, or read about Christmas cookie and cocktail recipes in magazines by the pool. On Thanksgiving day, it was 85 degrees, and I had to 'begrudgingly' strip my JCrew cranberry cardigan from my shoulders, and wear just the black tank top underneath. It felt so weird. The turkey had more dressing than me.

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I can't bite my tongue

I can't bite my tongue

The truth hurts. So, let's just rip the Band-Aid off.

Just because you see something on Facebook, doesn't mean you have to "like" it. Don't be a chronic liker. If you're signing on to Facebook every day, and just pressing 'like' on every new status on your newsfeed, you're so annoying. And probably over the age of 50.

If you flat-out refuse to move over a seat in a crowded movie theater after someone asks, you don't belong in public. I actually witnessed this last weekend. I was furious. People like that are a great reason why I often choose animals > humans.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I can't wait for it to be over. Chances are, I will snarl at/ignore all adult clowns I see. I hope that's not you. 

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Pizza panic

Pizza panic

My husband brought in the pizza box, and set it on the counter. I opened it, and felt that familiar feeling that I've felt since as far back as I can remember - a feeling of sheer panic...and gluttony.

My subconscious said, "I want all the pizza."

But, while it may be possible I could house a whole pizza, I know that isn't rational, since we ordered the pizza to share, and we rarely eat all of it. Still - I feel excitement bubble in my belly. It's not overwhelming, but it's noticeable. 

And, it only happens with pizza. No, wait. That's not true. It sort of happens with French fries, also. Sigh. I always have this horrible urge to sneak-eat a few of the other person's fries right out of the bag, and then eat my own, too. What do you think that says about me? What do you think it says about me that 9 times out of 10 I act upon it? I'm sorry, honey. And mom.

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I wanna do this to a pumpkin

You may already know from my 'past life', but it bears repeating. I STRONGLY DISLIKE HALLOWEEN. But - I doooo love some home decor projects. And, while I don't yet have any children to carve pumpkins with (or, for - because we all know they wind up just watching), I do love a pretty lil' pumpkin. AND - pumpkins/gourds aren't just for Halloween - they're for Thanksgiving too.

So, I'm gonna do a couple of these awesome ideas - check them out!



Overheard - and experienced - in the The OC

Overheard - and experienced - in the The OC

A little boy in a driveway, bellowing to his dressed-up mother, who is getting in the passenger seat of a sports car: "Mommy...Mommy...I love you!" Mom answers she loves him, too. "Whyyyy do I have to stay with Grandma again? Why can't I go with yooooouuu?!" Mom says nothing, closes the car door, and they drive away. The little boy puts his head down and goes inside. 

"I have someone come to my house to clean my dog's teeth." - Overheard while on a walk.

Me, to Starbucks drive-thru gal: "Grande iced coffee w/ skim, and do you have any plain bagels?" Drive-thru gal: "Lemme check. No, no plain." Me: "Okay, what do you have?" Drive-thru gal: "...in bagels, or in general?" Me: "...nevermind, just the coffee." I admit, I debated having her read me Starbucks' ENTIRE menu, which was also right in front of me - photos included. 

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More random than ever

TGIF, folks. TGIF, indeed. I need a brain purge. So, let's be random! 

The song that my husband and I chose to play while we were introduced for the first time as husband and wife was "Shine Bright" by John Brown's Body. I don't know if you know them, but you should. Give it a listen after the jump, while you read the rest of this post. That's my Friday gift to you.

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Just chill the (expletive) out

Just chill the (expletive) out

I went to this place called Bagels & Brew (coffee, not beer) during peak lunch hour yesterday, and ordered a honey wheat bagel with veggie cream cheese. After waiting for more than a few minutes than seemed necessary, the young man behind the counter called my name with a worried look on his face. I approached the counter, and he said, "Amanda, I'm so sorry to inform you of this...but, I was just informed of this myself. I don't know how to say it, but we're out of vegetable cream cheese." His tone, and the worried/scared look on his face was the same as if he was giving me a death sentence. I laughed and said, "It's OK - just give me plain, then." The worry did not leave his face, as I expected it to, and he replied, "Are you sure?!" and apologized profusely. 

This poor guy. I mean, have people flipped out on him about this before? Anxious and hyper people make me sooo nervous and uncomfortable - especially in public. And, that made me wonder. What else are people having an unnecessary hissy fit over? I think people get way too bent out of shape over the silliest, smallest things. Here is an off-the-top-of-my-head list of some things not to get upset over in life:

Waiting in line. Relax. You are not more important than anyone else in that line. Take that time to reflect on things, like how you maybe should have gotten there sooner, what you have to do for the rest of the day, what you're going to have for dinner or do after work - or this weekend. Or, strike up a conversation with someone in front of/behind you. Just don't be creepy about it.

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Let's get our freak on

Join me for a live-tweet sesh of American Horror Story: Freak Show, yo. Remember, I'm on West Coast time, but I don't care about spoilers. Let's use #AHSFreakShow, k? 

I don't look good enough to go there

I don't look good enough to go there

Yesterday, I found myself out of Bare Minerals Mineral Veil, which is like magic for my face, and I wanted to get to Sephora as close to opening time as possible, to avoid any crowds/traffic. So, I threw on a baseball (not really - Titleist) cap, JCrew chinos and a white t-shirt. I thought maybe the eye-hiding baseball cap would ward off the "Hi, can I help you with anything" questions that are always said in a slightly pitiful 'Are you makeup illiterate, sweetheart?' tone, as I knew what I needed - and just wanted to get in and out as fast as possible. 

Stepping in to Sephora at 10:45 a.m., I found that almost every woman in Orange County was there. Minus baseball caps. These women looked like they'd been up for hours getting ready for a Sephora trip, while I was decked out in an outfit I reserve for grocery shopping, walking Moxie and running to Home Depot. And apparently quick cosmetics runs.

I navigated my way through the buzzing, blinged-out women getting their eye makeup and eyebrows done, the gigantic displays and huge Louis Vuitton totes blocking a few aisle entryways. Finally, I grabbed what I needed, perused a couple other products nearby, and saw the Sephora uniform - a red and black dress - coming toward me. Gosh. I thought, here comes the "Are you finding everything alriiiiiight?" question. 

Except it wasn't.

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Hello, fall!

Hello, fall!

So, I'm not the first person to tell you that today is the first day of autumn. Chances are, someone on Facebook or Twitter clued you in, already. Or - maybe you saw today's Google Doodle. 

But, still. Hooray for fall! 

It's 11 a.m. here in Orange County - and it's 73 degrees. The high for today is a sunny 82. There are no leaves changing colors, no real chilly days, and so far, no one around here goes crazy for scarves, boots or anything pumpkin flavored.

It's really weird.

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Rings of memories

Rings of memories

Remember how difficult it was for me to find the perfect wedding band? Well, I found one (obviously).

The other night, we had dinner out with friends. During a pause in conversation, I found myself looking down at my hand, touching my rings - and a random thought of how beautiful my grandmother looked at our wedding came to mind.

Then I thought, these rings really do hold so much.

Growing up, I loved rings. It was the 90s, so I basically wore one on every finger. Then, I bought myself this really delicate gold ring with one of my first paychecks. I loved it so much I only wore that ring, and I wore it every day on my right hand ring finger. The ring was so light, that I barely knew it was there. And one day, I went to school and settled into my desk. I began pulling out my books, and noticed my ring was gone. I never found it. I was so heartbroken, that I shied away from wearing 'everyday rings' - and opted for big, statement cocktail rings I'd take off after a fun night out. It's like I thought, well, I'll wait until I get engaged/married and then it will really be special. Sort of like my fingers were practicing ring celibacy.

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Overheard in The OC

Overheard in The OC

I shared a couple of these via social media, so forgive me if you've already seen them...they were just too hilarious to wait to share.

“Starfish aren’t fish. Like, Starfish Tuna is *not* a good brand name.” “It’s StarKIST Tuna.” “No. That’s the fruit candy.” - Two bros playing bocce on the beach.

"I can't BELIEVE you've never been to the Hollywood Bowl! Astonishing fact to me! Simply." - A woman in San Clemente.

“Hey there! How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around Facebook lately.” - Woman decked out in Lilly Pulitzer in supermarket.

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33

It seems like yesterday you were born. But, I know it was 33 years ago, because all of our memories wouldn’t fit in one day.
— My momma
Photo courtesy of www.facebook.com/magnoliaandwillow

Photo courtesy of www.facebook.com/magnoliaandwillow

Happy birthday to me! 

My wonderful husband is taking me to Long Beach, CA to a vintage/consignment shop I've been waiting and waiting to visit! It's called Magnolia and Willow. You can follow them on Facebook and Instagram. I am obsessed with their Instagram account - that's how I found them, before we even moved here. And, oh, AND...you can order via phone and they ship! 

I'll keep you updated on my purchase(s)!

(I'm going straight for the item in the photo, for our front door)

Then, it's homemade mac & cheese for dinner.

33's lookin' pretty good so far.

OK, fine - I admit...

OK, fine - I admit...

...that I play the Kim Kardashian game on my iPhone. I'm an A-list celebrity, and I'm wayyyy busy with photo shoots and club appearances. 

...that I try shoes on in Marshalls without socks/disposable nylons.

...I watch way too much reality television.

...I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the Saved by the Bell Lifetime movie

...I have a bit of a celeb crush on Michael Strahan, and Kelly Ripa's hair.

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Here's how I feel

Here's how I feel

You should never take a hair stylist recommendation from someone whose hair you do not love.

ALL OF THIS. I don't believe in 'victim-shaming.' But, I do believe in taking responsibility and accepting maybe you didn't take the proper precautions/choices when it came to your nude photos. Whatever happened to Polaroids? You can burn them, and they fade after so many years.

The very first second Rosie O'Donnell screams on The View (and really, with Rosie Perez? Talk about annoying voices), I will never watch again. So, I'm betting I'll only get 30 seconds in.

Jordan Knight has never looked healthy. I remember meeting him when I was 8 or 9 years old at a New Kids on the Block concert. So this was like, 1990. He wasn't my favorite (Joey Joey Joey!), but I remember thinking, "Oohh...he doesn't look good", and I refused to go shake his hand. He was pale and skinny and had bags all around his eyes. He's now touring with Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and I have already said too much on this topic.

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Way too much makeup

Way too much makeup

You know when you excuse yourself to the restroom while out to dinner, and you wash your hands and check yourself in the mirror to see a piece of spinach between your teeth? And, you wonder, why didn't ____ tell me?!

I hate that.

I always tell someone when something's between their teeth - mostly because I wouldn't be able to stop looking at it, and it makes me gag - but also because I would want them to tell me. 

Back in my learning-to-apply makeup days, my mom always told me when I did a horrible job. She'd be like, "No. That's too much eyeliner, you look possessed." Or, "I can see the foundation line on your jaw - wrong color, honey." And, my good friends and I would offer advice and tips, as well. That's having your girl's back.

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Overheard in OC

Overheard in OC

You probably have some preconceived notion of people who live in Orange County, CA. Either you've watched The OCLaguna BeachThe Real Housewives of Orange County...or you've been here. Thing is, any sort of negative connotation you have about the peeps here in OC, the reality is that it's just pepper in this big, beautiful place. 

I would say 98% of the people I've come across are extremely pleasant, nice, and friendly - more than Chicago, and even more than Upstate NY. And, most people I find are not originally from Orange County. They're from other places in California, or even other states, like me. But, there's pretentiousness here, don't get me wrong - and hilariously head-shaking things I overhear in public. And, I just can't deal with it. So, I share it with you! Ready?

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The ocean doesn't have feelings for you

The ocean doesn't have feelings for you

For most of my life, I spent a great amount of time in the Atlantic Ocean. From Cape Cod to the Jersey Shore, from Florida to...the other side of Florida. And I've been to the Caribbean, but I'm 90% sure that's not the Atlantic.

I've swam, used boogie boards, threw myself into waves without a care in the world. If I got knocked around a lil' bit, I always came up laughing hysterically, and jumped right back in.

The Pacific, though? Totally different story.

It's colder than the Atlantic, but it's still refreshing in the California sun. However, it's so, so, so much stronger and unforgiving. I went diving into one wave, and got chewed up and spit out. I didn't emerge happily, like in the past - nope. I was terrified. 

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