Crosswalks

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My mom was visiting, and I needed to grab a few things from the grocery store, which happens to be a 3 minute walk/1 minute drive from my house. It was pretty hot and humid out, so I decided to walk - sans toddler - to get what I needed.

The shopping plaza has crosswalks, and there's a sign in it that says "Walk and shop!" or something like that. So, the town tries to foster walkability. That said, 8/10 times I walk there, I have to dodge a car while crossing a crosswalk. This time, I made it there OK with no issues, but on the way back, an older lady literally came within 10 feet of me before she stopped. I looked her dead in the eyes, and what did do?

She waved her hand at me hurriedly, as if to say, "Go! You're in my way!" Like I was a buzzing fly around her head.

I'm telling you. If she wasn't 90 years old, I would have went O-F-F. In fact, I debated telling her what I thought of her obviously emergent trip to STAPLES that could have cost me my life, but when she got out of her SUV and was all hunched over walking into the store, I figured I would just look like a 30-something harassing an elderly woman. I then thought of leaving a note, but I had perishable food, no pen, and again - she was literally 90 years old. Or at least looked it. Frustratingly enough, I had to just swallow my anger, take a deep breath and move on.

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On the walk back home, I got to thinking about what it was that really ticked me off. Was it that she could have hit me? Yes, obviously. But, it was also her reaction to her mistake/carelessness. She didn't mouth "I'm sorry!" or look the least bit humbled. In fact, she looked mad at me - annoyed, and waved me on and out of the way. That's happened to me sooo many times before - with people of alllll different age groups - when I've started crossing in a crosswalk and they have to stop for me (the horror!), and then I'll see their arms waving me on like 'walk faster' or 'OK, I'll let you go, you're welcome, you annoying walker!" and it's like CAN YOU JUST NOT DO THAT?!

I know communication can be difficult when you've got the barrier of a car between you, but it doesn't have to be. Try to smile, say 'sorry!' or 'whoops!' even. Also try to remember that you're also a pedestrian when you step out of your vehicle.

/rant. Have a good day and watch out for humans!

Do you...

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...iron your partner's shirts? I ran a poll on my IG stories and I'm happy to report most of you don't. I'm happy because I don't and now I don't feel bad about it. The truth is, my husband just irons his shirts better than I could.

...check your pizza before tipping the delivery person? I don't, but I feel like it's not a bad idea. Nothing worse than opening a fresh pie and seeing the cheese has shifted all to one side.

...use 'lol' or 'haha'? I used to be strictly 'hahaha' and couldn't stand LOL but after having a baby, I found that 'lol' was MUCH easier to type with one hand. So, now I use both.

...change your phone case often or keep the same one on at all times? I have a bit of a phone case addiction. I have a battery case, a few plain cases in diff colors and a Bandolier crossbody case. It's something I'm working on.

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...eat cupcakes for breakfast? I did today. Don't look at me like that. They (2) were leftovers from Owen's birthday and in my defense, I didn't want him to see them and want one. Or two. I'm gonna pretend the calories don't count when it means saving my child from a sugar high/crash. Plus, they were soooo good with coffee.

...drive around forever, looking for a parking spot before you'll fork over $ to park in a garage? I don't. I prefer convenience and less stress. Parking lots also make me nervous af and I don't know why. People just seem so unpredictable in them - whether they're walking or driving. I prefer to just park and get the hell out of the car.

...have a go-to playlist? If so, who's on it? I've never been great at playlists but I think I'm getting better. I used to have, like, a Carrie Underwood song right after a Death Cab for Cutie song and it was not conducive to creating a vibe or mood. I'd be all chill and reflective and then suddenly I'm jolted into a song about binging on tequila and getting hitched in Vegas. It was very confusing. But, now - I put more thought into it, especially for the trips upstate.

...believe in signs from loved ones who've passed on and angels and psychic mediums? I do. All of it. Honestly, I don't understand people who say "I don't believe in that stuff" and it's like OK I get it but why do you have to be sooo negative about it? They're always trying to tell believers it's not real and it's like I'm not trying to tell them it's real so what gives with the pessimistic attitude? They're probably never fun at parties. In fact, I know of one person like that and I can tell you he's literally never fun at parties. Annoying? Yes. Fun? Never. I just personally have had experiences that can't really be explained otherwise and it's a super comforting way to feel.

Similar to cupcakes for breakfast. *shrug*

Forgive and forget?

And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ‘em...
— Taylor Swift

Yes, I just quoted Taylor Swift. It's time for me to be honest about who I am. I'm currently obsessed with Taylor Swift's latest album - mostly because she's such a great songwriter, so there are some great, thought-provoking one-liners.

As I let TS's latest album play in my earbuds while I enjoy an hour of mommy time at the pool, that line sticks out to me, and immediately reminds me of a time I was encouraged (ordered?) to "forgive and forget" by someone who had wronged me. When I saw those words - sent via text message - I felt every tiny hair on my body stand up and my blood begin to simmer. First, the obvious - who is anyone to tell anyone to forgive? Forgiveness is a personal choice, and usually done when one is ready to forgive. And, I think forgiveness is mostly beneficial to the person who was wronged, NOT the wrongdoer. Wrongdoers can ask for forgiveness, but cannot demand it.

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Secondly, what is this "forget" bullshit? Honestly. And, why should they even try?! So the wrongdoer can have a clean slate to mess up again? No way, I say. If someone is ballsy enough to tell you to 'forgive and forget' something they did - they're ballsy enough to do it (or worse) again. Does that mean you have to walk around angry with them forever? Again, no way, I say. That's the forgiveness part. But, I think what comes next is taking the necessary steps to ensure you're completely satisfied with moving forward in whatever capacity you're comfortable with. But, it does not mean you have to ever truly forget what they're capable of. You also don't have to forgive them if you don't want to, obvs. Up to you.

As I reapply my sunblock, I'm wondering if my thoughts on this topic make me sound guarded, paranoid and cold, holding everything against everyone. I'm not, and don't do, any of those things. But, I do think it's somewhat instinctual to not 100% trust someone again once they've revealed what their bad side looks like. And, that could mean limiting your relationship with them, the time you spend together, the lengths you're willing to go for them, how much you want to accommodate them, etc. How much do they deserve is a good question to ask yourself, in my opinion. It doesn't mean you have to be negative or let it/them continue to affect you. There's power in positivity.

Anyway. I'm talking too much about justifying why you don't need to forget after forgiving, when I should be focusing on the ridiculousness of why that's even a saying in the first place. I've always had the belief that no one has a right to treat anyone poorly, no matter what their relationship to you is - not even if they're family or you’ve known them for 20 years. So, while people make mistakes and words get said and yes - life goes on - if it's something big enough you need to forgive, it doesn't mean you have to try to forget it. You don't have the burden - they do. They just don't want it...

*puts sunglasses back on*

...and ain't that just too damn bad.