Is any of this normal?


I sometimes pick out what gown I’d wear if I had a wedding redo. I LOVED my gown, but I wouldn’t mind another one, just to do something different -- like a ball gown, since I didn't wear one for my wedding, I think Meghan Markle owes us a wedding gown redo, but that’s just my opinion. 

I get nostalgic over things that never happened. Like, for example — when I hear a certain few songs, I relive a daydream I made up when laying around my bedroom as a teenager: I would get a note to meet my crush of the month at the pool house and he would be there with flowers and a romantic poolside slow dance, proclaiming his affection. I created this “memory” down to the outfit I was wearing and how my hair would look. So, now — whenever I hear these songs, I’m all, awww...I remember when...wait, no that didn’t really happen.

I still love the occasional Red Bull, even though I know they're basically like drinking nail polish remover.


Whenever a stranger coughs anywhere near me in public, I get soooooo annoyed. Cover your mouth with your sleeve and get out, you threat to public health. 

For the first time in my life, I’m kind of dreading my birthday this year. 37. I don’t know why this year feels different, but it does. 37 isn’t a milestone or anything. It might be because it was just a year ago when I thought I was 34 or 35 when someone asked. I think I didn't count the time I was pregnant as aging time. It really shouldn't count, ya know? I digress...

I get irrationally upset when in public, and I see someone not following the basic rules of being a human. Like, leaving their empty coffee cup on a store shelf, not returning carts, etc. Like, I have to mentally check myself because confronting people on such things can be dangerous if they're...well, dangerous, and I'm a mom now. But, that stuff legitimately gets my blood boiling. If you ask me (which you didn't), I think leaving your empty coffee cup on a store shelf is the abnormal thing.

I've forgotten how to leave a 'good' voicemail. I rarely leave voicemail messages, so when I have to, I wind up pressing 3 to re-record until I feel like the person who will listen to it won't think I'm going to a pain the ass to return a call to. It's either too long, I'm talking too fast, I forgot to say something important, etc. I'm like the Goldilocks of voicemail.

I have a blister on my palm from Owen's stroller. I feel like a laborer.

Parenting is labor, though -- isn't it? Like, when do moms stop being in labor?

Decaf is not difficult


"Is this decaf" I asked, as the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru employee handed me my iced coffee.

"No...did you want decaf?"

*silent sigh* "Yes, I ordered decaf."

She checks the order slip and verifies that I indeed ordered decaf. About a minute later, and with some grumbling between employees behind the drive-thru window, I'm handed my correct coffee order...and made to feel like I'm 'that annoying customer' again.

As I drive away, I shake my head thinking about how often this happens -- whether it's at a drive-thru or the counter. I also think about how many times I haven't double-checked, only to drink my coffee and start to feel sick and shaky, realizing it was, in fact, not decaf.

Yes, I realize there is some small amount of caffeine in decaf, something like 3%. I don't drink decaf to be difficult, or because I want to. I've told you about this before, but ever since having Owen, I've had a very low tolerance to caffeine IF I drink it on an empty stomach/first thing in the morning. The afternoon seems to be OK - in which I often opt for an iced dirty chai latte from Starbucks if I'm in the mood.

Why can’t DD and other coffee shops/diners/whatever get this right? If you offer decaf, and if a customer orders it, it's not an option if you want to give it to them or not. Would they give a customer a chicken sandwich if they ordered a hamburger?

Fun fact: When I worked weddings at a country club, we would always serve decaf to the guests during cake time because...time for you to get tired and go home. Suckers!

Anyway, let me explain what happens if I am mistakenly given regular coffee when I order decaf. This recently happened when I was in Albany visiting my mom, and we stopped at a DD before heading to a home decor store with Owen. I noticed my cup wasn't marked decaf, but the employee assured me it was. OK, cool, I thought. We got to the store and I started to feel shaky, sweaty and dizzy. I felt nauseated, and my head started to ache. I immediately knew it wasn't decaf. So, I threw the rest (about half) of the coffee out, pounded a water I had with me, and just powered through it until it was out of my system, thanks to multiple trips to the restroom in the store. Is it life-threatening? No. Is it annoying? Yes.

Am I insane for continuing to go back and trusting that they'll give me my correct order? Maybe. And, you may be thinking that I'm not "getting anything out of" drinking decaf. But, that's not true. It's refreshing, I like the taste and it does offer the perfect amount of pick-me-up. And, when I'm out and about in the morning/mid-morning, it's often a welcome stop, especially if Owen passes out in the car.

So, I'll continue my fight for the right to decaf. Besides, if they're taking my money, I should get what I want, amiright or amiright?

(I'm right.)

Quickie: Babies in bars?



I came across a friend tweeting about people who bring their baby to a bar. It brought up a topic I've gotten pretty passionate about over the years, and my stance has changed only somewhat since I've become a mom.

I believe there are kid-friendly places, kid-acceptable places...and then there are some places where kids should not be allowed. Bars are one of them, I think -- but only at night. I don't see anything wrong with a tot hangin' out with mom and dad during brunch/lunch/a festival/whatever.

But, at night, it just feels like a different crowd. Because, people go to bars to let loose, have fun and be a little careless -- perhaps even leaving their responsibilities out of mind for a bit. When there's a baby strapped to a beer-drinking mom or dad, it's hard to forget about your own kids back at home/with the sitter.


OR -- maybe it makes some people drink more when they see a baby, who knows?! And then maybe they forget their birth control and BAM -- more babies/future customers.

Mm-hmm. These baby bars are onto something, aren't they.

Also - this post on nails it. While some bars enforce a "last call for babies" -- no babies after 8 p.m. -- bars are just so dirty. Not to mention, people can get pretty rowdy and accidentally throw an elbow now and then.

So, I think if you're absolutely dying for an adult night out for some drinks at a bar but don't have a babysitter...stay home. *shrug* Welcome to parenting!