5 o'clock friend

I often think of this friend, and blog post I wrote while blogging for the Albany Times Union back in 2010. I recently had an encounter with someone who reminded me of my ol’ friend and I just wanted to give this story a new place to live…

On my way home from work, I would look for him. Sometimes he was there, and sometimes he wasn’t. The sunshine would bring him most often and he appeared brighter and happier. His constant smile would make me feel foolish for ever frowning. When he wasn’t there, the day was dreary and I was disappointed. Didn’t he know I depended on him, maybe even more than he depended on me? When I didn’t see him, I would place the change from my lunch, usually a couple bucks, into my cup holder, and wait until tomorrow. The red light seemed longer when he wasn’t there. There was no one to chat with for the minute or so until the light changed to green, even if he did most of the talking. I liked to listen. I’d hand him whatever money I had saved in my cup holder and he’d end every conversation with a “God bless you, sweetheart” and it was a sincere, genuine wish.

One week, I hadn’t seem him until Thursday. I had around $10 in some ones and change saved up and I replaced it with a $10 bill.

I handed it to him and he smiled his warm smile and I asked him where he’d been. He told me he was at “a place”, but got kicked out because he got a little out of hand, and didn’t keep his room clean. I said “Ohh” and shook my head. He continued to tell me that he was going to try to get back in there because they “have a program or something”, and I told him that was a good idea, to try again. He continued on to say 4 words that I have repeated in certain conversations in my life since that day.

“You get one shot.”

He meant at life, and he’s right.

It may seem obvious, those 4 words…but until you hear them at the right time in your life, in the right setting, you might not get it. For me, it was like the fog in my head cleared. I was at a crossroads at that time in my life, to either end a relationship I knew I wasn’t happy in, or stay and work on trying to be happy. It might sound crazy, but during the days I dreaded going home to that trapped and unhappy feeling, my chats with my new friend would somehow lighten the load and at least make the drive a bit more bearable. I knew I was putting off making my choice – one road meant turning my life upside down for a short time, but the outcome would mean happier days. The other road meant sacrificing a large part of who I am and stifling my happiness for the possibility of one day accepting my choice to stay. You get one shot. Turns out the road I took “home” each day during that turning point in my life helped lead me to the road I’m happily traveling now.

Each time the light would turn green, I watched in my rear view mirror at the cars behind me slowing to hand him what they had in their cup holders. I started something. I realize that people have strong feelings about homelessness and some may even give me a hard time for giving a homeless person money daily. But, I don’t care. I know that human being to human being, I gave him all I could give him, in exchange for four very wise words. It was well worth it, and I thank him.