Push presents...really?

"Did you see my new charm bracelet", she said, while jingle-jangling it in front of me.

Push Present.jpg

"It's from Tiffany's...see the heart, here. It says 'Mom' -- it was my push present. I just about demanded it", she said proudly with a smile -- and I think I also saw a wink.

I did the appropriate and polite lean-forward-and-say-aww while holding down my last meal, just like I always do when I hear the term "push present."

First of all, the term 'push present' immediately brings to mind all the goopy goo that comes along with pushing a baby from one's body. As nice as a push present can be -- I've real-life heard of diamond earrings, and even a luxury car -- I just can't help but imagine the push present being given covered in placenta.

Secondly, I think getting a gift for doing something that women have been doing since the beginning of time, is pretty stupid.

Thirdly, why should the baby's father give the mother a gift? Both of them actually made the baby.

WARNING: Inappropriate and completely immature joke coming up.

Does the dad get a gift, too? I mean, he did some pushing, as well.

HAHAHA. Okay...

Lastly, while I'm sure pregnancy feels like a very long road, and can wreak havoc on a woman -- physically and emotionally -- I just can't help but see push presents as compensation for doing something that already ends with a gift. I mean, getting a material item that bears a pricetag solely for bearing a priceless human being just seems a bit superficial to me.

Buy your own damn charms, momma.

Speaking of pushin' it....enjoy!