A little boy in a driveway, bellowing to his dressed-up mother, who is getting in the passenger seat of a sports car: "Mommy...Mommy...I love you!" Mom answers she loves him, too. "Whyyyy do I have to stay with Grandma again? Why can't I go with yooooouuu?!" Mom says nothing, closes the car door, and they drive away. The little boy puts his head down and goes inside.
"I have someone come to my house to clean my dog's teeth." - Overheard while on a walk.
Me, to Starbucks drive-thru gal: "Grande iced coffee w/ skim, and do you have any plain bagels?" Drive-thru gal: "Lemme check. No, no plain." Me: "Okay, what do you have?" Drive-thru gal: "...in bagels, or in general?" Me: "...nevermind, just the coffee." I admit, I debated having her read me Starbucks' ENTIRE menu, which was also right in front of me - photos included.
"C-c-can I just squeeze before you in line to check out? I'm going to be late for a meeting, and I'm really important." - A "gentleman" to a woman in front of him in line at Target. FYI, she said no. I silently applauded her.
Guy #1: "I've been coming down with a bug since yesterday. I feel like utter crap." Guy #2: "Sucks, man. Beach after work?" Guy #1: "Yeah, man."
"My last maid shrunk my favorite polo." - A middle-aged man, to his middle-aged male friend at the table next to me.
"You'll get sick of the constant warm, sunny days, you'll see." - A native Californian colleague, to me.
"When it's a bad date, I just tell him I have kids and - poof! It's over." *laughs* - A 20-something to a friend, walking to their cars after dining out.
Me: "It was, like, -14 degrees for a few days last winter in Chicago." Them: "Wow! What happens when that happens?" Me, confused: "Eh?" Them: "Do you get the day off?" Me: *laughing hysterically* "Noooo...nothing happens. Nothing closes, nothing stops, no snow days from work - nothing. Life continues as normal. You shovel, drive slowly, and go to work all day." Them: "That sucks." Yep.