When I was single, I used to haaaaate when coupled-up women were all, "We are, we do, we like, we will..." And, I made a half-promise to myself to never be like that. I'll admit, I think I was a teeny-tiny bit jealous of their twosome talk. Believe me, my disdain wasn't all "single independent woman! Strong female power!" And - a woman - especially a strong one - has got a right to change her mind, ya dig?
I like a 'we' statement.
Now, I'm not talking joint Facebook and email accounts, here. 'We' doesn't always have a place. Maintaining a sense of independence is important, I know. While I've accepted 'we' statements into my life, I also still maintain that level of "I'm not that crazy woman who speaks for her man. He has a brain. A good one. I'm just including him, here, in this statement, to be nice." I still say "I" quite often.
Now that that's out of the way.
One very popular anti-we statement I know of, is when women say, "We're pregnant." In the past, I've been one to think, "Ugh. You both are not pregnant, you are pregnant. Don't say 'we!'" But, while technically it doesn't make sense...both people are welcoming a baby into the world, right? Again - include...to be nice. And really, it's the pregnant woman's prerogative. I'm not gonna argue with a pregnant woman.
And, you know what else has me thinking differently about this 'we' statement stuff? I caught an interview that the amazing Robin Roberts gave last week to Hollye Jacobs, who has written a book called The Silver Lining: A Supportive and Insightful Guide to Breast Cancer. And, I have to say, if you have 3 minutes and 16 seconds, you should watch the video. It's a pretty empowering interview, I feel. The most powerful takeaway for me, was that Jacobs feels as though cancer doesn't just happen to the person who gets cancer.
"Cancer doesn't happen in isolation...it happened to my family, my friends, and my community."
I immediately thought of a couple I personally know was affected by - and beat - cancer. And, instead of the husband saying, "My wife has cancer", he would always say, "We are dealing with cancer."
So, it hit me - when bad things happen to those we love, we rush to their side - and their battle becomes ours, as well. And, when bad things happen to us, we pull loved ones closer, for support, and comfort. We share our hard, trying times.
But, I - I - feel like the good times are even greater when it's more than me.