The hostess with the...craziest

I love Yelp and I love TripAdvisor. I will definitely review places of business if the experience is amazing, and I will FOR SURE review your place of business if it was awful. I will also blog about it.

Last night, was the most bizarre restaurant experience ever.

We arrived at this hip Japanese place around 8 p.m. We had been there before (and ate at the bar). We walked in, and noticed there were no open seats at the bar. We noticed an empty table-for-two, so we waited for the hostess. We didn't see anyone else waiting for a table.

She came over and, without making eye contact, asked if we had a reservation. We told her no, and she offered us a seat on their patio (which looks like a makeshift garage with absolutely no decor and paper flyers on its walls) with "the heat on full blast above us." Hmmm. As 'tempting' as that sounded, we declined. She continued to not make eye contact with us, and told us that it would "honestly be a 45-minute wait" for a table, but we could put our name and phone number in (for a text alert). We did.

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We stood there for less than another minute before the hovering hostess came back and offered us to check out the two bars next door...AT ANOTHER RESTAURANT.

Taking the hint we weren't really wanted there, we did.

And, we had drinks in front of us in less than two minutes, Christmas music was playing, and the bartenders, who were super busy at this upscale seafood restaurant, were absolutely attentive and pleasant. And they made eye contact.  So, we decided to order dinner there, especially because they're known for their sushi, and that's what I was craving.

Five minutes later, the hostess from the other restaurant came barreling in with menus and said, "your table is ready." AWKWARD.

We told her we ordered food (and hey, wasn't it supposed to be 'honestly, a 45-minute wait?!) and she asked if we wanted to cancel our reservation with them. Um, yes. Obvi.

I have never, ever heard of a hostess from one restaurant chasing down patrons seated at the bar of a different restaurant, have you? Insane. I mean, she sent us there. That's what you get.

I likened it to a high school relationship - when one person is all, "I want to see other people" but then they get jealous when the other person starts dating someone else. The whole experience was so bizarre, it drove us to drink.

So, we ordered another cocktail.